Woman to Marry Chandelier Named Lumiere After Breaking Up With Statue of Liberty

July 22, 2019

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Amanda Liberty is "objectum sexual," which means she's attracted to inanimate objects. According to The Mirror, she took her last name from the Statue of Libery after a "prior long-distance" relationship with America's most famous green lady, and now she's announced her engagement to a 91-year-old chandelier named Lumiere. “I’m not sure what dress I’ll wear and will invite those closest to us. I’ll also be buying matching wedding rings for Lumiere and myself,” she says. “I know a lot of people think my attraction to chandeliers is strange, but I’m not crazy.” Keep telling yourself that, m'lady.